Dear singles,

So, Occasionally (like every 6 months, give or take) I check my very aged POF dating profile to see if.... I dunno... Something magically happened and there are all of a sudden all these hot, witty MEN on there that I am missing out on, here with my dog and laundry) 

 Well, Let me make you dudes out there a quick list about how to reel in that special lady on a online dating site before I go to bed, so we can all sleep easier, especially you east coast guys with your bad clothes and out of focus truck profile pictures... But I digress... 

My list. 

 - Spell check and grammar
   This is The biggy for me. 
   If I am reading your profile hoping you we're just in a rush that day and that's why you have sooo many errors and not that you were that ....uummmm... Perhaps not smart. 

- Stop with the "easy going, open-mindedness"
  That tells me nothing and it is boring. Think of something effing original. 

- Pick pictures that make you look attractive. 
  I know, This seems like it would be a given. Not so much. 

- Do not type anything about your ex-girlfriend in your online profile 

- Write something witty. Give it a try. 

Special East Coast Guys List 
- no trucks, ducks, motor bikes or any other boy toy
  I suppose this is pretty universal but here on the east it is an epidemic.

- Do Not wear a Keith's (or any other logo) t-shirt, khaki shorts, bad flip flops and a ball hat. 
  You all look like really, really boring clones. Just saying. I mean, Isn't the point to stand out from the herd? 


       That is all for now. I know it seems like a pretty obvious and straight forward list but apparently not, since I felt compelled to write it. 
Bon dai, I have an 1 hr of sleep before I get up for my lovely early morning Jobbie.