July 1
Ok so my life goes in these cycles eh. Tight ones. I know the months in my life when things happen...Oct ad April for example ...but nothing is as accurate as Canada Day...it's always a bust. This week I met a guy one day, slept through the celebrations the next and got rejected by the guy the day after. Now it's not the rejection that bothered me really...it happens...trust me...and from people that I really knew, would die for and that I actually gave a shit about...but it was the whole circumstances, not to mention how wrong I was, once again, about someones intentions. I mean this person was mesmorized and James Dean cool enough to lift my eyebrow at...I wasn't swept off my feet, mind you, but an actual contender is a rare breed. He just went for me like a bull and shooed me away like a fly. Craziness. I am trying to take people for what they show me, thinking if I just be myself and stay open there will be no reason to lie to me or play games. I like looking but I am not needing for anything. I lost my soulmate long ago...now I am just a drifter. So why, men out there, is there the need to pychoanalyze everything to death within such a short time. Do we all have to be looking for those husbands and wives??? Do we have to ruin the moments? Nothing lasts forever.
"We love for a meer moment in time"Everyone is looking for partners and I guess I am just in a place, where right now is all I have...tomorrow is always uncertain and I just float along with my instincts and go with it. I doubt also, that I will fall in love like i've been before. I am intrigued at the thought of someone blowing my doors right off me...but regretfully am not counting on it...I would not bet money on it...lets just say that. I sound so wounded I know, but really I write this in the minds eye not a boo hooey emotional state. I started living the dream long ago.
{first published by Sea Siren Tales ~ The Drifting Chronicles on Thursday, 1 January 2009 at 02:02}
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